


Fall Apart Without Me

by overall_sin_and_trash



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Body Horror, Bottom Obi-Wan Kenobi, Drug Use, Eye Horror, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Implied Cannibalism, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Poor Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suitless Vader, Vaderwan, very fucked up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:15:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overall_sin_and_trash/pseuds/overall_sin_and_trash
Summary: The battle on Mustafar ends with Anakin chopping off Obi Wan’s limbs. But Anakin— now Vader— won’t let Obi Wan die just yet. Obi Wan must learn to love the Sith Lord— or he will die.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Vader
Comments: 81
Kudos: 196





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from “Body” by Mother Mother
> 
> While there is no rape in this chapter, it is mentioned briefly.

His memory was a blur. He remembers the planet of fire, he remembers the burning yellow of Anakin’s eyes, the sound of lightsaber on lightsaber, the agony of injury.

Unsure of where he was, he looked around. He couldn’t feel his arms or legs— and that’s when he saw it.

His limbs were gone. Cut clean off by a lightsaber.

Instinctively, he thrashed on what he then realized was an operating table.

A mechanical hand pushed down on his chest, pinning him to the table. “Hush, Obi Wan.” It was Anakin. “You need to stay calm and awake for me now.”

Obi Wan tried to speak but found his throat too choked with ash to form words. Something began to whirr next to him, and he belatedly realized it was attaching itself to the stump of his left arm. As the metal pressed against the wound, agony shot through what remained of his body. He felt it stitching itself onto the stump, little needles working in tandem. He tried his best to squirm away, but he was held down tight.

When it was done, he had a pale white cybernetic arm. The operation continued until Obi Wan had screamed himself hoarse and he had four pristine artificial limbs. Flexing his “muscles” and listening to them click and pop, he promptly passed out from shock, exhaustion, and pain.

—

He woke on a beautiful bed, alone in a sterile looking bedroom, all the furniture immaculately ivory. It all felt like a dream. But the pain he was in was very real, and kept him sober. Taking in his surroundings, he noted that there was actually a fresher attached to the room. How strange, he thought, that Vader would put him in such a nice room.

As if on cue, the door slid open and Darth Vader walked in. “Good to see you’re awake.” He said, stealing Anakin’s voice and face. “For a moment there we lost you. But thanks to my powers, you’re okay.” He smiled. “You might not see it yet, but this is for the best.”

“I certainly doubt that.” Obi Wan responded dryly.

Vader laughed and sat beside him on the bed. “It’ll all be clear in due time. For now, you should be grateful that I kept you alive.”

Obi Wan’s curiosity betrayed him. “And why did you do that, Darth?”

Cryptically, he smiled. “Again, all in due time. Just focus on being good and healing up. I’ll need you to learn to walk again— but don’t try it without my supervision. Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself or break anything, now would we?”

“What’s become of the Jedi?”

Vader shrugged. “Unfortunately, we couldn’t have the meddling around. So we had to get rid of them. The Jedi are a dying breed, and we will see to their doom.”

“We?”

“My new master and I. And you too, of course, once you come around.”

Obi Wan’s heart sank. Sidious. The Sith Lord that had been hiding in plain sight. “...when do you think I’ll walk again?”

Scratching his chin, Vader frowned. “That’s entirely up to how much pain you can handle before you pass out. I know you’re resilient, obviously, if you weren’t you would’ve died on the operating table.

He felt tears burn in his eyes. “Why did you do this to me, Anakin?”

“Vader.” He hissed, offended by his real name. “I did it to teach you a lesson. You’ll see how powerful the darkside is, and you’ll willingly bow before me.”

“I don’t understand.”

Vader sighed dramatically. “I had visions of you cutting of my limbs and leaving me to burn in the lava of Mustafar. And for obvious reasons, I couldn’t let that happen, so I made sure that our roles would be reversed.” He ran a hand down Obi Wan’s naked torso. “But I spared your flesh. I think I’ll be needing it later on.”

Obi Wan felt his stomach churn. “What does that mean, An— Darth?”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I have no place for you at my side as a Jedi.” He stated casually, walking back to the door. “But I’m sure you’d look wonderful on my lap.”

The door slid shut. Obi Wan was left on the bed, his heart and head pounding. Vader couldn’t have meant... no, that was horrible. Even a child murderer would hesitate for such perverted exploitation. He clenched his fists, disturbed by the fact that he could feel things with mechanical limbs. Unwillingly, he began to cry. The things Vader was implying... his stomach hurt.

The door opened again. A distraught looking woman was thrown in by a stormtrooper.

“Padmé!” Obi Wan gasped. “You’re alive!”

Her eyes were wide and terrified. “What... what did he do to you?!”

Obi Wan faltered. “He took my limbs.” He said softly, not really believing it himself. “And gave me new ones, I guess.” He flexed his mechanical fists.

Padmé began to cry, curling up in a ball on the floor. “Luke and Leia...” she whimpered.

Obi Wan gasped. “The twins! Are they safe? Are they alright?”

She only cried harder. “He—he took them. I don’t know what he did to them.”

Obi Wan had a bad feeling about it, but respectfully said nothing to upset her. “I’m sure he kept them safe, after he went through all of this trouble keeping us alive.”

“They say I’m dying, Obi Wan.”

He blinked. “What?”

“They don’t know why. But I am, I am dying.”

He tried to stand, only to give a strangled cry as pain shot through the stumps of his legs. Toppling over, he tried to army crawl his way to her, ignoring the sharp pain in his arms. “You can’t die, Padmé!” He whispered. “The babies need you, I need you, and whatever is left of Anakin needs you.” As he spoke, he could feel her life force draining inexplicably as she seemed to calm.

“I can’t live like this. Tortured by the man I used to love. I can’t do it. Obi Wan, what’s he going to do to you if I’m not here?” There was a terrified tremble in her voice.

“...I believe that he intends to... seduce me to the dark side... quite literally. By force, if he needs to.”

“Fight it, Obi Wan. For me, don’t give in. The Empire might’ve won the war, but Vader doesn’t have to win your soul.”Her voice was fading.

“I will, I will. I promise, I won’t let him turn me. I’d rather die.”

“There is good in him, I know there is.” She managed, falling still.

Obi Wan’s eyes went wide. “Padmé?” He shook her lightly, then harder when she didn’t respond. “No, no!” Tears welled up in his eyes against his will. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, we were all supposed to be happy together.” A horrible seed rooted in his mind. Was any of it real? Was Padmé nothing but a vessel for an heir to the Skywalker legacy? And where did this dark attraction to Obi Wan come from?

Perhaps, he figured, these questions are best left unanswered. He probably wouldn’t like the answers, if there were any at all. He found it harder than ever to have hope. In all his years of war, all the many near death experiences, he never gave up hope. But now, crying over his dead friend’s body, metal and flesh limbs screaming in pain, he felt utterly hopeless.

He reached out for the force, and for the first time in his entire life, the force didn’t reach back.


	2. Cumbersome and Heavy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF RAPE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MIND THE TRIGGER WARNING! STAY SAFE!

He began to sob uncontrollably. Never before had the force abandoned him. He’d never felt so isolated, so terribly alone in the vast universe. There must’ve been some kind of force inhibitor embedded in him somehow.

“Vader!” He howled, unable to move due to the agony coursing through his limbs. “Vader!”

The door slid open roughly not long after. Vader scowled at him until he saw Padmé. For just a moment, sadness filled his eyes, but it was snuffed quickly. “Oh, sweet Padmé.” He shook his head. “Guard! Take her to her coffin.”

A trooper came in and dragged the corpse away.

Tears streaming down his face, Obi Wan managed to pick his head up off the floor. “You... you knew this was going to happen?”

“No, but I’m always prepared. I have one for you as well.”

“She loved you so much.” He gasped, finding it hard to breathe in his position.

Vader’s face turned dark. “And you loved me so much as well? So much that you’d betray me?”

Obi Wan paled. “What?”

“Your thoughts betray you. Without your shields, I have access to your entire mind. You can’t hide anything from me.”

“Get out!” Obi Wan sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. “Get out of my head you bast—“ he was cut off by a boot to the face.

Vader snarled. “Silence, Kenobi! Need I teach you a lesson so soon?” He shivered in anticipation at the obvious fear that swept through his former master. Grinning, he lifted Obi Wan up to the bed with the force. “You talked back to me, you raised your voice, you tried to walk without my supervision... it’s good to see that you’re still so defiant.”

With Vader now looming over him, Obi Wan fully processed his own nudity. He flushed and tried to cover himself with his hands, his body protesting the little movement.

He ran his hand flesh hand down Obi Wan’s smooth yet scarred torso. “So beautiful, my old master.”

“Please...”

“I know you want this, Kenobi. I know you’ve dreamt about this happening to you. Did you ever dream of me?” Obi Wan shook his head furiously, only to be slapped hard in the face. “Don’t lie to me!” He hissed. “I’m inside your head right now. You dreamt about me pinning you down after a sparring session and fucking you until you begged for mercy. And I know that bitch Satine used toys to play with your slut ass.”

“Please, please stop this...” another slap.

“You don’t mean that. You want me to fuck you. You want to be punished because you know you’ve been bad. What kind of perverted man dreams of his student like that? One that needs to be taught a lesson.”

Obi Wan broke into hysteric tears as Vader ripped his hands away from his cock and grabbed it roughly, stroking it to hardness.

“I must admit that I dreamt the same things.” Vader confessed, still idly playing with the older man’s member. “A recurring fantasy I had was taking you in your sleep one night, using the force to keep you asleep until the very moment I pumped you full of cum.”

Poor Obi Wan’s heart skipped a beat. How long had Anakin wanted to... take advantage of him like that? He desperately flailed his arms to try and push Vader off of him, only for his limbs to suddenly stop working.

His face a fury, Anakin growled. “You stupid bitch. I was considering letting you cum and then leaving you to sleep, but now I know you really need to learn your place.”

Helpless to his whims, Obi Wan was forced to spread his aching legs, averting his gaze when Vader spat on his hole. That improvised kind of lubricant did virtually nothing to ease the stretch and burn of intrusion as Vader forced his way inside of him. “Stop! You’re going to tear me, stop!” He cried, bucking his hips.

In what Vader would consider mercy, he didn’t strike him again, just smirked down at him as he started a brutal pace. “Fuck, you’re so tight around me. You were made for this, and now this is all you’ll do. My own personal cocksleeve, willing to drop down on my cock even in front of the whole galaxy.”

Running out of energy to cry, Obi Wan focused his mind on tolerating the burning sensation. “I’ll be good.” He panted, eyes pleading. “Just please stop hurting me.”

“You feel all too good to just pull out now, pet.” Vader argued, thrusting harder.

Obi Wan clamped his jaw down to keep from screaming. “Use my mouth.” He shed what was left of his dignity as he begged. “Please, you can fuck my throat as hard as you want, and I’ll take it!”

Vader slowed his pace as he considered it until he nodded and pulled out almost all the way. “Alright, fine.” Suddenly he slammed back in, eliciting a proper scream from Obi Wan. “No, I don’t think you deserve any more mercy. Be grateful I haven’t killed you.” His own breathing started to become erratic as he approached his climax. “Kriff, you’re like a virgin.” He pulled out and fisted his cock until he came all over Obi Wan’s stomach, then scooped some of his spend on his fingers and shoved them in Obi Wan’s open mouth.

Obi Wan hesitantly sucked on each finger he was given until the mess on his stomach was gone. Then he lay there, panting with his eyes shut tight, trying to convince himself that nothing had happened.

In a shocking moment of tenderness, Vader stroked the other man’s hip. “I need to get you some bacta. Stay put.” The last bit was unintentionally taunting, since Obi Wan had been rendered immobile some time before. When he returned, however, he was gentle as he slicked his fingers with the gel and rubbed it into the walls of Obi Wan’s ass.

At first, it burned, but it faded into a dull tingle as time went by. Soon enough it almost felt good, though he wouldn’t admit it aloud.”

“That’s it, be a good boy for your master.” Anakin purred, intentionally skimming his prostate.

Obi Wan felt his eyes roll back at the light stimulation. He unconsciously moaned. “My master?”

“Yes, dear one. I’m your master now. I’ll take care of you and I’ll protect you.”

“But... you...?”

“I hurt you, yes, but I won’t do that as long as you cooperate with me. Can you do that?”

Delirious, Obi Wan nodded. “Mhm.”

“Good boy.” Anakin praised. “Do you wanna cum?”

Again, he nodded.

Anakin smiled and made quick work of fingering Obi Wan’s prostate until he came all over himself.

Almost instantly, Obi Wan fell asleep.

Standing and tucking himself back into his trousers, Anakin blew a kiss. “Sweet dreams, dear one.”

And Obi Wan slept deeply. And he did have sweet dreams— until they all ended with fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel gross for writing this


	3. I’m One with the Force

Obi Wan woke up on his back, his arms and legs splayed out odd angles. After a quick test, he found that he still couldn’t move. Unsurprisingly, he felt detached from himself. There was still a stinging sensation in his rear, the bacta creating a strange, almost tingly feeling amidst the dull ache. He had no sense of time, being in a windowless room with no clock within sight. It felt like years had passed. Judging by the pain where flesh met metal, it hadn’t been that long since the battle at Mustafar. His head on the side, he stared at his mechanical hand and tried to will it to move. Of course, this didn’t work, and he repressed a sob. He tried again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Again. His fingers twitched. Relief flooded his pain addled system as he began to gain dexterity in his appendages.

After a long while of trying, he was able to move his entire arm enough to prop himself up on the bed. The process started over again, though he then focused on moving two limbs at once. Eventually he was fully mobile. He took a shuddering step, hissing through his teeth as a sharp pain shot through what little remained of his thighs. Even the smallest movement of a single finger brought agony to the likes of nothing he’d experienced before. Wisely, he knew that a good portion of the perceived pain was simply residual horror at being mutilated by Ana— by Darth Vader.

The door to his room was, oddly enough, unlocked. He stepped out into an empty hall, but dashed back inside when he heard footsteps approaching. Shutting the door, he held his breath as the footfalls came and went, breathing only when he was sure they were gone.

He then realized that he actually needed a plan. He couldn’t just approach Vader without the force or a weapon, and obtaining a weapon without use of the force was almost impossible. That’s where he would start: getting back in tune with the force. He went over what he knew in his head: he was out of touch with the force for the first time in his life, he’d had intensive surgery performed that he had little recollection of, and there was a strange and vague force signature near his naval. He looked down and squinted. There seemed to be a gently blinking light beneath his skin. Somehow he knew that it was a force inhibitor, and he knew that he’d have to remove it.

Staggering to the bathroom, he was relieved to find a medicine cabinet equipped with plenty of toiletries— including what he was looking for: razors. He sat on the floor and shoved a towel in his mouth, biting down hard as he cut a shallow hole in his stomach. The chip was wired into him, so it burned like hell to tug, but he squeezed his eyes shut and yanked it out, screaming into the makeshift gag.

The force washed over him like a tsunami, he’d have fallen over if he hadn’t been already on the floor. He sobbed in relief and residual pain. The time to act was now, he decided. He returned to the door, listened for any sign of life, then walked into the hallway. Letting out a breath, he let the force guide him to the overwhelming dark force signature he knew to be Vader.

Footsteps echoed down the hall. Two clone troopers— no, stormtroopers— were walking side by side, blasters at their sides.

Obi Wan prepared himself for a fight that never came. The troopers just walked past him with little more than a nod as they continued their conversation. After a while of confusing turbolift rides, the doors slid open to reveal a large room, devoid of any color other than black and red. Vader stood at the end by the window, looking out at the stars.

“You took out the chip.” Vader said simply, not bothering to turn around.

Obi Wan gulped and stepped off the lift. “You shouldn’t have left razors in my room.”

Vader sighed and shook his head. “Forgive me for forgetting your foolishness.”

Obi Wan extended his hand, making a crushing motion with his fist.

Phantom pressure on his throat, Vader whirled around with fire in his golden eyes. He too reached out with a scowl and struck his former master with lightning.

Poor Obi Wan screamed as his limbs short circuited, sparking and burning the stumps where flesh met machine. He released Vader, who in turn ceased electrocuting him.

“My, my, my.” Anakin tsked, fury ablaze in the force. “After everything that’s happened? You still have fight in you?” He kicked Obi Wan in the gut.

Obi Wan groaned, panting like a loth wolf. “Always, my dear.”

Vader leered and crouched next to him. “You’ll learn your place. Just give it some time and you’ll break.” He promised.

Another dark presence came in the room, slowly but surely. Sidious.

“Well done, Lord Vader.” He praised. “Though I understand not why you spare his miserable life.”

“My children will need a mother.” Vader supplied. “Without dear Padmé around, Obi Wan is the best option. I’ve seen him with younglings, he’s a natural.”

“Very well.” Sidious waved his hand dismissively. “Clean up this mess. Do what you will with Kenobi.”

“Yes, Master.” Vader bowed his head and went to pick up Obi Wan, who looked close to passing out. “Up we go, pet.”

Obi Wan moaned lowly, his eyes shut. “Where are we going?”

“To my room.” Vader hummed. “I’ll need to fix up your limbs, now won’t I?”

He let his head go limp, lolling around as he was carried to a different part of the ship. “How are the twins?” He murmured, not really expecting an answer.

“They’re healthy, and strong in the force.” Vader nodded, almost smiling. “You will be a good mother to them.”

Obi Wan felt tears well up as he was placed on a soft bed. They spilled down his cheeks, his lips trembling in attempt to stay quiet.

Vader actually looked concerned. “What’s wrong, dear one?”

“Padmé should be here for them, not me.”

He sighed. “In all my years with her, I somehow always knew you’d end up here instead of her.” He chuckled a little. “Not here exactly, but here for the children.”

Obi Wan shook his head and let out a single sob. Vader shushed him. “Don’t cry, don’t cry.” He wiped the tears from Obi Wan’s eyes. “You’ll be just fine, as long as you cooperate. You can do that, can’t you? You can be good for me?”

“...Can you knock me out while you fix me? I... I don’t want to be awake for it again.” Obi Wan asked carefully.

Vader frowned and stroked his chin in thought. “Promise me you won’t try to attack me again?”

Obi Wan hesitated and thought it over before nodding. “Yes, Master. I swear.”

The younger man grinned. “Good boy. I’ll let you sleep this one out.”

“T-thank you.”

“You’re welcome, darling.” Vader stroked Obi Wan’s auburn hair. “And once you wake up, we’ll have a nice dinner.”

Obi Wan nodded and began to drift off. He was already asleep by the time Anakin injected him with a sedative.

The sound of Vader tinkering was accompanied by his whispered promises. “I’ll make you perfect. Make you even more beautiful. You’ll be mine, like you were always meant to be.”


	4. Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: IMPLIED CANNIBALISM

He woke with a yawn, wincing at the sharp pain of stretching his arms. The weight of the world seemed to crash down upon him all at once, the reality of his situation hitting him hard. He traced his the scars on his fair skin, still unnerved by how he was able to feel sensations through metal fingers. There were plenty of faded ones, but plenty of prominent ones too. It was then that he noticed something new: he was clothed. It wasn’t the tunics he was accustomed to, but it was certainly more comfortable than being fully nude. He was wearing a sheer robe of shimmering gold, which matched with the new accents to his artificial limbs. There was a collar on his neck, a simple circlet of the same color. He found once again that he was muted in the force. A voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“There you are.” Vader purred happily. “There’s my darling. Are you ready for dinner?”

Obi Wan hesitated, but a loud rumble from his stomach made him nod. “Yes, Master.”

Vader offered him a hand to help him off the operating table and into his arms. “Good boy.”

“What are we having?” Obi Wan asked quietly, not wanting to seem rude or paranoid.

“I’m afraid I don’t quite recall the name of the animal, it’s rather exotic.” Vader mused, opening a door to the dining hall. He carefully placed Obi Wan in an ornate chair before taking his own across the table.

Obi Wan, receiving a small nod from Vader, removed the covering on his plate. His mouth watered at the amazing smell. How long had it been since he ate?

“Go ahead, you must be hungry.” Vader smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

Blushing a little, Obi Wan took a small bite of the meat. His eyes widened. It was amazing. It’d been so long since he had a good meal, since the ones at the Negotiator were always dismal.

Vader leaned forward in his seat, his chin resting on his folded hands. “How is it?”

“It’s wonderful.” Obi Wan felt a genuine smile grace his lips. “I’ve never tasted anything like it.”

Chuckling, Vader got to work eating his own portion. “It has a slight acidic taste, no?” When he received a nod, he continued. “She was distraught, frightened. You can taste that.”

“She?” Obi Wan asked around a mouthful.

Something dangerous shone in Vader’s eyes. “Yes, she. A beautiful specimen.” He cocked his head. “How do you like the adjustments I’ve made to your prosthetics?”

Still eating, Obi Wan looked briefly at his limbs. “They’re pretty.” He said simply.

“I’m glad you think so, that was my intention. I thought it would compliment your natural beauty.”

Obi Wan flushed and looked away. “...thank you, that’s very kind.” He busied himself with drinking some of the wine at his side.

“It’s Alderaanian, a gift from the Organas.” Vader hummed. “You remember Bail and Breha, right?”

The name made his heart ache. “How are they?”

Vader shrugged. “I wouldn’t know.” He sighed. “It seems that they aren’t fond of the Empire. They always were headstrong, I’m sure they’re part of some rebellion.”

“Oh.”

“Once they find out you’re here, they may even try to rescue you.” Vader mused aloud. “But you wouldn’t leave me for them, would you?”

“Of course not.” Obi Wan surprised himself by how quickly he answered.

Vader grinned like a loth wolf. “You pretend to hate my advances, but I think deep down you love me.”

“...I’ve always loved Anakin.”

“And you love me now. Tell you what, I’ll let you call me by my real name whenever we’re in private. Will that be easier for you?”

Obi Wan nodded. “It would be nice.”

“Then consider yourself allowed. Just make sure no one hears. The emperor would not take kindly to it— and I’m sure you’re aware that he already doesn’t like you.”

Obi Wan frowned. “Yeah, he never did. He was always trying to get me killed.”

Vader grimaced. “I didn’t even think of that. If he’s been masterminding the war... he was in control of everyone after you. He sent Maul to kill you and Qui Gon all those years ago, and everyone after that.” His shock turned quickly to rage. “How dare he do that, he knew how much you meant to me!”

“He’s using you, Anakin. He’s been grooming you since you were a child.”

Vader inspected the room before giving a covert hand signal that Obi Wan knew to mean “I’ll kill him.”

“He’s powerful.” The older man warned.

“So am I.”

Obi Wan swirled the glass in his hand, the little wine left creating a dark red vortex. “This is strong.” He said softly. “I think I’m a little drunk.”

Vader used the force to pour him more. “It’s not like you have to drive anywhere.” He laughed.

Tipsy, Obi Wan had to laugh a little. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I always am.”

Obi Wan looked at his empty plate longingly. “Could we have this again sometime? It was lovely.”

“Of course!” Vader clapped his hands. “She was a rather large animal, so we’ll have meat for a while.

Obi Wan’s voice dropped. “I wish we could’ve had Padmé for dinner.”

“ _Don’t_ _worry_.” Vader thought with a grin. “ _We did_.”

“Don’t you miss her?” Obi Wan asked, oblivious to what Vader had just implied internally. “She was your wife, the mother of your children.”

Vader’s smile shifted to a frown. “I’m keeping her close. Closer than you think.” He paused. “And anyways, you’ll make a better mother. I’ve seen you with younglings.”

Younglings. Obi Wan’s heart ached once again. “May I retire to my quarters?” He requested softly.

Vader nodded. “Here, I’ll help you walk back.” He stood and helped Obi Wan to his feet. The two men staggered to the door and down the hall.

“Thank you, lord Vader.” Obi Wan smiled when they reached the door to his room. “Well, I suppose this is goodnight.”

“I suppose so.” Vader hummed. “Sleep well.” He pressed a kiss to Obi Wan’s hand and began to walk away.

“I love you, Anakin.” Obi Wan whispered.

Vader smiled but didn’t turn. “I know.”


	5. Don’t Make Me Love You

He played the words over and over in his head.

“I know.” Vader had said, and he still sounded just like Anakin. “I know.”

What was that supposed to mean? Did... did Vader know how Obi Wan really felt? Was that why he’d been spared? If Vader knew, why wasn’t he disgusted? Anakin had been accepting of Obi Wan being bisexual, but this was different. This was a gross attraction to his former student. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, wishing once again that he could meditate through the force.

His mind drifted to what had become of the Jedi. It pained him to think of poor Ahsoka. What happened to her? Was there a chance that she survived? He wasn’t sure that he wanted to answer those questions, they’d likely bring only more suffering.

He was conflicted. Vader was still Anakin, though it hurt to admit it. But Vader had done horrible things. He’d slaughtered younglings. He aided in the purge of Jedi. He’d even forced Obi Wan into sex. All of this was undeniable... and yet, Obi Wan was nearly happy. He wasn’t elated with the situation, but, more often than not he was comfortable. All he had to do was not piss off Vader and he’d be fine.

Of course, this wasn’t healthy at all. Vader likely didn’t reciprocate Obi Wan’s feelings, he just wanted a warm hole to fuck. But maybe, just maybe, there was something more there.

Obi Wan crawled into his bed, careful of his sore body. Tears unwittingly stung at the corners of his eyes. If Vader didn’t love him back, what was he going to do? How was he going to convince himself to live through it all? He didn’t know, so he wept silently in the darkness.

“We’ll be okay.” He whispered. “I’ll be okay.” The words were empty. They stood for nothing, they meant nothing.

Two weeks passed, all without visits from Vader. Obi Wan sometimes wandered the halls, but mainly he stayed shut in his room.

—

Vader was pacing back and forth in his quarters. His mind was turbulent, more so than usual. Strange, since he had been so calm when he was with Obi Wan. Obi Wan, actually, was the problem. Vader felt like Anakin with him, and that shouldn’t happen with anyone. He knew that he loved Obi Wan dearly, but he was intimidated by how deep it ran.

“That old fool.” He spat. “Softening me so that I may let him escape.” He kicked the wall roughly. “It won’t work. He’s mine— and he better learn that quickly.”

—

The beginning of the third week, Vader finally appeared in Obi Wan’s room. The older man was sniffling, rubbing at his red and puffy eyes.

“Anakin!” He cried as the door slid shut.

“You’re disappointed with my arrival?” Vader asked, his jaw set.

Obi Wan shook his head. “I thought I’d scared you off. I was worried.”

Vader glared at him, coming to sit at the edge of the bed. “You think you’re in any position to intimidate me? You are unarmed and unequipped with the force.”

“The last thing I said to you was that I love you. I feared that you were angry with me.” Obi Wan said softly.

Seeming to be taken aback momentarily, Vader cocked his head. “And how do you know I’m not angry with you?”

“If you were really upset, you wouldn’t let me call you by your real name.”

Vader hummed in thought. “I suppose you’re right.” He admitted. “Though I came here intending to be upset.”

“Why is that? Have I done something wrong?” Obi Wan asked seriously, leaning forward.

“No, you haven’t done anything wrong.” Vader frowned. “Tell me, Obi Wan, would you betray me?”

“Never, Anakin. I’d never turn on you.”

“But how do I know that for sure? How do I know you’re mine?” Vader cupped Obi Wan’s cheek with his mechanical hand. “You are mine, aren’t you?” There was something dangerous in the way he was looking at the other man.

Obi Wan nodded with no hesitation. “I’ll always be yours.”

“Prove it.” Vader dared him.

Smiling softly, Obi Wan lifted his robe up to his chest to expose himself. “Only you get to see me like this.”

The Sith grinned, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Obi Wan’s naval. “Good boy.” He murmured into his skin. “My good boy.”

Obi Wan flushed at the praise, nearly purring with bliss as the kisses wandered to his toned thighs. “Always.”

Vader was delighted to see that Obi Wan’s cock was responding to the increasingly bite like kisses. He found himself surprised to be so focused on the pleasure of another.

What had he intended to do when he came in the room? Had he wanted to force Obi Wan like before? The thought of it now made him ashamed, the memory of his uncontrollable rage bitter in his head. “I’m sorry.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

They locked eyes, Vader’s apologetic gold meeting Obi Wan’s sorrowful blue.

Obi Wan teared up. “Anakin...”

Vader sat up and kissed the tear trails on Obi Wan’s cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“No.” Obi Wan said softly, gently pushing Vader back. “I... I’m sorry too.”

Vader looked confused. “For what, dear?”

Obi Wan hiccuped, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t want to love you.” He wept. “I wish I didn’t love you at all. I wish—“ he broke off into sobbing.

For a moment, Vader was furious at the admission, but it settled as he saw how hurt the older man was. “And I want to love you.” He said, bringing Obi Wan’s hands down so he could see him properly. “But with who I am now... I just don’t know if I should. Or... even if I can.”

“You shouldn’t love me.” Obi Wan shook his head, still crying. “I let this happen to you. I went wrong somewhere, I wasn’t good enough for you. If— if Qui Gon hadn’t died, maybe none of this— none of this would’ve happened.”

“It’s not your fault. I chose this.”

“Did you?” Obi Wan asked, nearly hysterical. “Or did I not give you enough attention, so you befriended a secret Sith Lord who’s groomed you right under my nose?”

Vader looked stunned. “I— no... wait...”

“I was scared of loving you. I thought someone would find out and they’d separate us. So I wasn’t there enough for you, I know that now. And it’s hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you and now look what you’ve become.” He wiped at his nose. “You look just like him. You sound just like him. But I’m not sure I even know who you are now. So why, why do I still love you so much?”

“Obi Wan...”

“You killed my friends! The only family I had!” He cried. “All of them, dead! You took my limbs, you even raped me, I just, I don’t want to love you as you are now!”

Vader pulled him into a hug, though the other man protested. “I want to love you.” He said again. “But I get so angry sometimes, I don’t know what to do. The Jedi never taught any of us how to deal with anger. I see you, and I love you, but I hate what you symbolize. You are still the man who raised me, you are still my closest friend... and yet, I feel such anger when I see you.”

“Just kill me.” Obi Wan begged. “It’ll be over for both of us.”

“I can’t.” Vader whispered, biting back his own tears. “I can’t do that. I need you. You’re the only thing I have that’s good. I need you to be there for my children.”

“Please.” Obi Wan whimpered. “It hurts. It hurts, Anakin.”

Vader pulled away slowly, standing up and straightening his cape. “I’m sorry.” He said, walking away. “I can’t lose you. You’ll understand one day, I’ll make you perfect, and it won’t hurt to love me.”


	6. Stewjon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of context: Obi Wan is canonically from a planet called Stewjon, but we’ve never seen it to my knowledge. He was three years old when he wasn’t taken in by the Jedi, which is why he can remember a little from his early life. Obviously, I’ve taken liberties— this is a fanfic lmao

Vader came back the next night. Obi Wan was sleeping soundly in bed, but Vader wanted what he came for. Using a force suggestion to keep him asleep, Vader pushed into Obi Wan’s relaxed body, fucking him hard and fast. He came embarrassingly early, having already been half hard by the time he walked in. He slid out and cleaned his former master with a damp cloth, hid the evidence of the deed, then gently shook him awake.

“Anakin?” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

“I’m here.”

“I’m still so sore.” He frowned, wincing at the sharp pain between his legs. “Even in places I wasn’t sore before.”

Vader shrugged like he didn’t know a thing. “Your body is likely just trying to get used to the prosthetics, no need to worry.”

Obi Wan couldn’t exactly argue with that even if he wanted to. “Why are you here?”

“I want to take you out.”

Obi Wan blinked. “What?”

Vader smiled. “A date. Just you and me, there’s a lovely little planet I have in mind.”

“Oh.” Obi Wan said dumbly. “I—“

“You don’t really have a say in this.” Vader amended quickly. “So you won’t feel guilty going with me.”

Nodding slowly, Obi Wan sighed. “Will there be a lot of people? I’m afraid the clothes I have are... rather revealing.”

Vader shook his head. “Not where we’re landing, no.”

Obi Wan looked relieved. “That’s good. What planet is it, anyways?”

“One I’m sure you remember vaguely. Stewjon.”

The older man’s eyes went wide. “My homeworld?” He breathed. “I’d always wanted to go back... how did you know?”

Leaning in, Vader placed a chaste kiss to Obi Wan’s cheek. “I know everything about you, darling.”

Obi Wan laughed. “For someone intent on not loving, you sure are affectionate.”

Vader snarled, smacking Obi Wan across the face. “You will not mock me, boy.”

Obi Wan hissed and grabbed his cheek. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He apologized.

After taking a deep breath, Vader smiled again. “Now, let’s go explore.”

—

Stewjon was a largely forested planet, with swaths of silver trees as far as the eye could see. Vader found a little clearing to land his and Obi Wan’s small vessel, right by the sea.

It was the first time in weeks that Obi Wan had experienced fresh air, so naturally he was a bit overwhelmed by it all. Stewjon had a particular smell, one that he’d long forgotten. Memories of playing in the woods with his parents came flooding back without warning. He grabbed Vader’s arm. “Do you know where Luc’Noc is?”

Vader nodded. “It’s not far. I figured you’d want to visit.” He pointed to a small rocky trail that lead away from the clearing. “Just follow the path. I’ll be right behind you.”

Obi Wan would’ve ran if it didn’t hurt so bad. Instead, he limped as fast as he could. The trail seemed to go on for ages, until finally it broke through the trees and revealed a small village. He situated his poncho to cover as much of his body as possible, thankful that Vader had lent him to it before they left.

The village was silent, eerily so. His eyes fell upon a small house with a shattered sign. Curious, he tried to put the pieces back together. It was in Basic. “Kenobi.” It read. Obi Wan gasped. This must’ve been his parents house. He recognized it vaguely. He walked in, mentally preparing to introduce himself as their son.

Before he could even knock on the door, it opened, and a blaster was pointed directly at his chest. An old woman stood, her hands trembling and eyes fearful. When she took him in fully, she put down the blaster slowly. “Who are you? Why have you come here? We don’t have anything worth stealing.”

Obi Wan blinked. “My name is Obi Wan.” He said carefully, eyeing the blaster cautiously.

“You...” she whispered, looking shocked.

“Are you... are you my mother?”

Her expression turned stormy. “You!” She hissed, slapping him hard across the face. “You freak, after everything you’ve done to this village, you waltz back in here like we’d accept you!”

It was Obi Wan’s turn to look shocked. He stepped back. “Freak? I don’t understand, I—“

“We gave you away once we realized what you were. We didn’t want any of your force related calamity.” She continued, waving the blaster around.

“Mother, please—!”

She shoved him back. “No!” She shrieked. “Do not call me that! You brought him here! He came for you, and he— he killed the children! All of them! Even though we told him there hadn’t been any monsters like you!”

Obi Wan paled. “Who came here?”

“Some Zabrak called Maul.” She spat. “Said you cut him in half.”

“I had to!” He argued. “He killed my master!”

“Good! One last karking Jedi scum wiped out.”

“Mother, you have to understand, the Jedi are not evil!”

“They betrayed the republic, and allowed the empire to take control!”

Onlookers came out of their shadows, peering through doors and windows, watching in silence.

“The Jedi are dead!” Obi Wan shouted. “I might as well be the last alive!”

She scowled. “Not for long.” She raised the blaster again.

“That’s enough.” A distorted voice commanded.

Obi Wan turned to see Vader standing behind them, wearing the helmet that Obi Wan hated so much. “Master!” He cried, the word slipping out accidentally.

“You’re with him?!” His mother screamed.

Obi Wan ran towards Vader. “Ana—“ he was promptly shoved to the ground by the younger man.

“Silence, Kenobi!” He snarled. “That name stays in behind closed doors!”

“You have brought shame upon my life.” Obi Wan’s mother swore. “And now look at you, a limbless freak at the side of a monster.”

Vader growled. “You will not speak to my pet in such a way.”

She laughed incredulously. “Pet? You’re his whore? That’s what you’ve become—“ her words cut off as she was lifted in the air by the throat with the force.

Obi Wan looked as though he might cry. “I thought you’d be happy to see me.” He said to her, shaking his head and standing up. “I thought maybe you missed me.”

“You’re... no... son... of... mine...!” She gasped before her neck snapped and she dropped to the ground with a thud.

Obi Wan, even without the force, could feel the other villagers staring at him from their hiding places. He wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t make a sound.

“They hate you.” Vader said, low enough that only Obi Wan could hear. “Since the moment you showed signs of being force sensitive, they’ve thought you were a monster. If the Jedi hadn’t found you, you’d have been killed.”

Obi Wan shuddered. “What do I do?”

Vader, smiling beneath the helmet, handed him the saber Obi Wan once carried.

It was heavy in his hands, as though the weight of his thoughts were pulling it down. Yet he ignited it, watching in awe as it shone a blazing red.

“You know what to do, Obi Wan.” Vader coaxed.

Obi Wan nodded. Suddenly he felt so angry, so betrayed. These people were supposed to be his friends and family. They thought he was a monster— so he’d give them one.


	7. Like Animals

The Jedi in him screamed for him to stop. He shuddered. “I can’t, Vader, I can’t do it, it’s not right.”

Someone shot at the two intruders, which Obi Wan somehow managed to deflect.

“Kill them, Obi Wan, like they would’ve killed you.” Vader reached over to unlock the collar around Obi Wan’s neck, which had been closing him off from the force.

The force surged back into his body, nearly causing him to fall forward. He could feel the anger and hatred coming from the villagers, chanting that he was a freak, an abomination. Their anger fueled his own. He’d never felt so enraged before. If he was in his right mind, he’d be terrified of it, but alas, he was too far gone. He gripped the hilt tight, his knuckles white with effort, tears of anguish streaming down his cheeks. Yes, if they wanted a monster, they’d get one.

Time seemed to blur. His memory was hazy. One moment he was deflecting blaster fire, the next he was surrounded by bodies. Reality hit him like a tsunami, he crumpled to the ground and screamed. The villagers had been silenced, but he could still hear their horrible words. There were so many voices, some praising him, some cursing him. The force had never felt like this. He didn’t know what to do, he just kept screaming and sobbing. “Make it stop!” He begged, unsure of where Vader was. “Make it stop, Master!”

Suddenly there was a hand near his neck, a click, and then the voices fell silent. Obi Wan finally opened his eyes, panting wildly, to see Vader standing above him. He removed his helmet. “You’re okay.” He soothed, kneeling down and embracing him. “I’m here.”

Obi Wan looked at the carnage and began crying again. “What have I done?” He wailed.

“Only what you had to, my love.”

He sobbed loudly. “Why did they hate me? What did I do wrong?”

“They didn’t understand you. You are strong in ways none of them ever could be, so they despised you.” Vader murmured, rubbing circles into Obi Wan’s back.

“I don’t want to do that ever again. I was so scared, so angry, I just—“ he trailed off into tears.

Vader shushed him. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to use the force ever again. I won’t make you.”

“Thank you.” Obi Wan hiccuped. “Thank you, Master, thank you.”

Vader scooped him up and began walking back towards their ship. “You did the right thing. You’ll understand someday.” He said to the exhausted man, who was already half asleep. “Everything will be perfect. You, you will be perfect.” He promised. “I just need to do more work, I just need some more time.”

—

Obi Wan woke up back in his bed. What happened on Stewjon seemed so far away, but he knew in his heart that it was closer than he’d like. As much as he wanted to pretend it was all a dream, he just couldn’t fool himself.

A horrible thought gripped him. He’d slaughtered dozens of people. He’d heard the whispers of the dark side. Had he fallen?

He got up and moved to the bathroom, hesitantly looking in the mirror.

His eyes were golden with a ring of red around the pupil. He really had fallen. Grabbing the sink tight, his head began to spin. “This isn’t happening.” He whispered. “I’m not a Sith. I’m not.”

In a moment of sheer madness, he saw only one course of action. He slammed his fist into the mirror, shattering it to pieces. Then, grabbing the largest shard he could find, he plunged it into his eyelid and pressed deep until he could pop it out, screaming and crying while he did so. His right eye fell to the sink as he worked on the left, which soon joined its twin.

He collapsed to the tile floor, blood pouring from empty eye sockets as he shrieked.

Vader came running in, panicked. He froze in the door way as he took in the carnage before him. “Obi Wan?!”

“They were gold, Anakin, I had to l, I had to!” He cried.

Vader took a careful step forward and looked in the sink. For once, he was at a loss for words.

There were Obi Wan’s two eyes, both bright baby blue, as they had always been.

—

Obi Wan woke in a daze. He blinked, finding the world way too bright. As he came to his senses, he was confused. How was he seeing anything? Was he dreaming?

“You’re awake, Obi Wan.” Vader said.

Obi Wan frowned. “I don’t understand...”

“You tore your eyes out.”

“Then how...?”

“I fixed you.” Vader said simply, smiling.

Obi Wan sat up slowly, looking around. “You fixed me?”

Vader’s grin grew. “I told you, my love, I will make you perfect.”

“What does that mean?” Obi Wan yawned, stretching.

“I’ve been working on something for you. Something to ease the pain.”

Obi Wan nodded. “The pain isn’t unbearable, it’s just tedious.”

Vader laughed. “No, I meant the pain you feel loving me. I will make it so that you feel nothing but bliss.”

A mechanical hand pushed him back down on the operating table. “What? I don’t— no, whatever you’re planning, don’t do it.”

Vader shushed him, grabbing a needle. “It’s okay, you still have time. It’s not ready just yet. Don’t worry, you won’t remember Stewjon or your eyes or any of this.”

Obi Wan’s protests were cut off as the needle met his thigh, and he promptly passed out.

“Tomorrow you can meet the babies, my love.” Vader whispered. “I know you’ll be the best mother.” He giggled. “And if you’re not, I can fix you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Vader promised, y’all will get to see some cute baby action in the next chapter. A little break from total darkness for y’all. ;) love y’all!


	8. Luke and Leia

Obi Wan woke up to something poking at his face. He opened his eyes carefully, not really sure of what to do. What he saw surprised him.

There was a little baby with a meager tuft of blond hair sitting directly in front of him.

Obi Wan sat up to see Vader seated at the foot of the bed, holding a slightly smaller baby with a few brown hairs atop its head.

"It looks like Luke has taken a liking to you." Vader said with a smile.

Gently, Obi Wan picked up the inquisitive boy. "Hello, Luke."

Luke babbled a reply.

"This is Leia." Vader gestured to the little girl.

"They're both adorable." Obi Wan beamed. “I’ve always loved babies.”

Vader nodded. “I remember you visiting the crèche when we had free time in the early days of my training.” He reminisced. “They loved you.”

Obi Wan’s cheeks tinged pink. “I’m sure they just felt my love for them in the force.”

“Whatever you want to call it.” He shrugged. “Most of the padawans had crushes on you.”

Obi Wan paused. “Really?”

Vader grinned. “Yes. You were a hero, the first Jedi to slay a Sith Lord in centuries, and you were just a padawan.”

“Nothing that impressive.” Obi Wan dismissed with a wave. “I didn’t even kill him. And, might I mention, I was a grown man. The fact that I wasn’t a Knight was slightly pathetic.”

“Qui Gon thought you were ready long before your trials.” Vader admitted.

“And how would you know that?”

“He told me.” Vader said simply. “He said that you were ready, but he wasn’t ready to let you go.”

Obi Wan frowned a little. “If this is some joke, stop it, it’s sick.”

“I mean it.” Vader insisted. “He really cared about you.”

Obi Wan looked down at Luke. “I suppose it’s best that he died before he had to let me go.” He said quietly. “I just wish...”

“...that you didn’t have to let him go like that?”

Obi Wan looked up at him again with sad eyes. “Yes.”

Luke whined in his arms, clearly asking for attention.

“I think he senses your sadness.” Vader said after a moment of staring.

Cradling him closer, Obi Wan hummed quietly. He let Luke grab him by the finger, his little fist so very tiny. “Is he... is he force sensitive?”

Vader frowned in concentration. “I believe he is. Leia might be as well, but I can’t detect anything just yet.”

“Will you train them?” Obi Wan asked, not sure what answer he’d prefer.

“I will train Luke in the force, yes, and Leia in war politics. I was hoping you could help them with physical training and sparring.”

Obi Wan nodded. “I would be honored.”

Vader leaned over to press a kiss to Obi Wan’s forehead. “Such a good mother.” The phrase was meant to emasculate Obi Wan originally, but both Vader and Obi Wan grew to like the title.

Obi Wan blushed. "I will do my best."

"I'm sure even your worst would be most people's best."

Giggling, Obi Wan rolled his eyes. "You seem extra affectionate today, any reason why?"

Vader's expression turned serious. "It's just... I feel bad."

"What for?"

"For raping you. I was just so... I don't know. I was happy that I'd finally got you, but also angry that you opposed me. My celebration over winning was also revenge for what you did."

Obi Wan stared at him thoughtfully. “...thank you, Anakin.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me—“

“I haven’t.” Obi Wan cut him off. “I don’t know when— or if— I will.”

After a moment, Vader nodded. “I don’t blame you.” He placed Leia on Obi Wan’s lap. “I’m sorry, I have a quick meeting. Can you watch over them?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.” Vader smiled, adjusting his outfit before walking out of the room.

The door slid shut with a metallic click. Obi Wan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. As though sensing something amiss, little Luke raised his hands up to Obi Wan’s face and stared at him, his lips pressed into a tight line.

Obi Wan patted him on the head softly. “All is well, Luke.” He promised, only distantly recognizing it as a lie. “We will be okay.”

Leia reached up as well, so he transferred Luke over to one arm to be able to also hold her. They seemed calmed by each other’s presence. Already, Obi Wan could tell that Leia was protective over her brother. He had to smile at that. Growing up in the temple, he’d been in both of their roles. To some he was a smart but reckless older brother, and to others was just a boy afraid of lightning. How strange, he thought, that he could be so many things at once. Though, admittedly, he was just as turbulent as an adult, even in the present moment. He was both in love with and terrified of Vader— reverence, he’d call it, a mix of adoration and fear.

Obi Wan held the babies close to his chest as he leaned back against the plush pillows, letting his eyes close only when they began to drift off. Laying there, two wonderful creatures in his arms, he started to think that maybe he really would be okay.

It was a foolish thought. But it kept him from breaking down.

He was miserable, secretly. If he admitted it to himself, he’d never be able to survive. So he lied. He lied each and every living moment. He’d tell himself that he was okay, he had to be.

He would live on. Even if it was only to protect the twins, he would live on.

—

“Lord Vader.” Palpatine called with his signature rasp.

“Yes, Master.” Vader bowed his head and kneeled.

“You did good on Stewjon. I was worried you’d gone soft on him, but seeing you slaughter his people dissipated my fears.”

“With all due respect, Master, I only killed one of them. Kenobi killed the rest.”

Palpatine narrowed his eyes. “And why would he do that?”

Vader fought the urge to smile. “The villagers thought he was a monster. I convinced myself him that they deserved to see one. And so he became everything they feared.”

“Good, good.” Palpatine chuckled darkly. “You think he will break?”

“He shows great resolve. Currently I am messing with his head, making him think that I genuinely love him yet remaining cold and violent. It will be a long process, but it will be rewarding."

Palpatine looked surprised. "You're manipulating him? Is it not hard for you, given your... past?"

Vader shook his head without hesitation. "Not at all."

"I'm impressed." Palpatine smirked and crossed his arms. "Not that I doubted you for a second, of course." He nodded in silence for a moment. "Alright, you are dismissed."

Vader bowed once more before he took his leave. As he walked away, he realized something horrible: He didn't know if he was lying to Obi Wan, or to Palpatine. He most certainly was lying to someone, but who was it?

"That blasted Jedi bitch." Vader hissed through his teeth. "He's gotten in my head somehow." His hands curled to fists at his sides. Suddenly he was gripped with white hot rage. "He thinks he can escape my wrath by... enticing me. I won't allow it."

He stormed over to Obi Wan's room and yanked the door open. The room was empty. Vader's rage peaked, the veins in his forehead and neck bulging. “Kenobi!” He barked.

A pair of troopers walked by. They were instantly seized with the force and made to look at the Sith.

“Where is he?!” He demanded.

“Um. I believe he went to the nursery, Sir.”

Vader scowled harder. “Why would he do that?”

The other trooper shook his head slowly. “I don’t know, sir, probably to lay the children to rest, they appeared to be sleeping.”

Taking a deep breath, Vader dismissed them and stomped off towards the nursery with murder in his eyes. He was nearly there when he all but ran over Obi Wan.

“Lord Vader!” Obi Wan cried in surprise. “I was just—“

“You are allowed to roam the closer halls, but never to go so far away.” Vader growled, grabbing him by the collar.

“You didn’t say tha—“ he was promptly backhanded across the face. Shocked tears stung his eyes.

Vader spun him around and pressed him into the cold wall. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that!”

“I’m sorry, Master, it won’t happen again, I just wanted the kids to be comfortable.” Obi Wan whimpered.

“I should say that it won’t.” Vader said darkly. “I’ll beat it into you if you don’t get the idea.”

Obi Wan’s shivering came to a horrified halt when the sheer robe he wore was lifted up over his hips, exposing his bare cock and ass. “An— Vader, not here, please, don’t do this to me here, I can’t—“ he yelped as he was swatted on the ass.

Vader was merciless. “I’ve been too kind to you.”

“I don’t know that I’d call it kind.” Obi Wan hissed, some of his old defiance and sass poking through his panic.

Another swat. “You shut up or I’ll make you!”

“Seriously, Master—“ Obi Wan begged, looking around at the few voyeurs that stood by. “—use me how you will, just not here.”

“Why?” He spanked him again. “It’s not like they don’t know what you are for me.”

Obi Wan’s heart skipped a beat. “And what am I, Darth?” He dared to whisper.

Vader chuckled. “You’re my fucktoy. You’re my pathetic bitch.”

“I may have fallen far from where I once was, but I am still Obi Wan Kenobi. I am no ones man. Not even Anakin’s.”

Vader howled and slammed Obi Wan’s head into the wall, breaking his nose and making him dizzy. “You dumb son of a—“

“I love you.” Obi Wan groaned. “I know this isn’t you.”

Vader slammed his bloody face into the wall again, harder. “Shut up! You don’t know anything!” He kicked Obi Wan in the knees to watch him crumple to the ground.

Obi Wan, now facing him, was smiling with glassy eyes. Blood and tears streamed down his face. “I love you. And somewhere deep down, you love me too.” He received a sharp kick in the gut but continued. “You’re scared of loving me.”

“Shut up! I’m not afraid of you!”

“No, you’re scared of your own feelings.” Obi Wan corrected. “And I, I’m fucking terrified of you, but I still love you.”

Vader kicked him between the eyes. “How dare you accuse me of that, I fear nothing!”

“I’m sorry, Anakin.” Obi Wan sobbed, barely maintaining coherency.

“Don’t call me that!” Another kick to the stomach.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. This isn’t your fault.”

Vader spat on him. “It’s YOUR fault!”

“I know.” Obi Wan gasped, nodding weakly. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care!”

“How long are we going to pretend you’re the good guy, Anakin?” He barely flinched when he was kicked right in the jaw, certainly breaking some of the bone. “You dismembered me. You raped me.” He slurred. “You made me think you were still pure somewhere. And you killed you own wife.”

Suddenly, Vader wrenched Obi Wan up with the force and pinned him against the wall with his exposed rear pressed against Vader’s erection. “I was going to be much gentler.” He growled. “But I told you to shut up, didn’t I?”

Obi Wan’s scream when Vader pushed in quickly turned into hysterical laughter, choking on his tears and hiccuping. “I love you.” He sobbed. “And I wish I killed you.”

This only spurred Vader on. “I hate you!” He screamed.

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Obi Wan laughed, close to passing out in pain. “I lov—“ he promptly collapsed to the floor unconscious.

The troopers watching began to leave, disturbed. As much as they hated Jedi, they didn’t want to watch Vader rape his unconscious body.

Not that Vader minded at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Obi Wan is having some trouble keeping his sanity, huh?


	9. Take My Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter and long wait. school is kicking my ass currently but I’ll get better!

Obi Wan squinted as a bright light bore down upon him. He blinked rapidly. “What’s going on?” He asked whoever was near him, if anyone. He was clean shaven for the first time in years, and and sides of his jaw felt strange, they were smooth and plastic like to the touch.

Vader suddenly helped him sit up. “I had to fix you again.” He handed him a small mirror.

The angles of his jaw had been replaced with the same white material that made up his limbs. “...what happened after I passed out?”

“I broke your jaw off.” Vader said simply, avoiding the exact details. In reality, Vader had pried open the older man’s jaw while facefucking him too hard two weeks ago. Obi Wan was, of course, unconscious when it happened.

Obi Wan looked at him with sad eyes, but wisely said nothing.

“You know that I love you, right?” Vader asked, pulling him in for a hug. “Everything I do to you, I do for you.”

“I know.” Obi Wan whispered, biting back tears.

“I’d never kill you, I promise you that.”

Obi Wan squeezed his eyes shut. “Sometimes I wish you would.” He breathed, barely audible.

Vader held him tighter. “I need you around, Obi Wan. Our children need you around.”

“I know.”

“I have to go for a while. My master has a mission for me. I’ll be back, though. I could never leave you for long.” Vader sighed.

Obi Wan nodded. “Can I go back to sleep?”

Vader smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course, my love. I expect you know the way to your room.” He kissed him again and left the room with a wave.

Now alone, Obi Wan took a deep breath. He refused to try to process everything before he was in the comfort and privacy of his room. Pushing himself off the operating table, he made quick work of taking the short journey.

Once there, he allowed himself to curl up on the bed and tremble. Nothing made sense. His memory of his and Vader’s last sexual encounter was hazy, likely from hitting his head so many times, but he remembered enough. Why would Vader do that to him? He had honestly believed that Vader had changed for the better. The traitorous voice in his head reminded him that it hadn’t taken long for Vader’s shift in mood to take place. To his annoyance, he realized that he didn’t know how long he was out.

He sat up when someone knocked on the door. A confused looking officer stepped inside, holding a fussy Luke and Leia in each arm.

“Um, I was advised to give them over to you.” He said, obviously faking confidence.

Obi Wan gestured for him to come closer, allowing him to hand over the twins. “Thank you, is that all?”

The officer nodded and exited without another word.

Both Luke and Leia seemed happier now that they were with him. Obi Wan looked at them, not realizing he was frowning in thought until Leia started mimicking the expression. Luke was once again reaching up to be cuddled closer, and how could Obi Wan deny him that?

He looked to the corner of his room, where apparently Vader had set up a crib. He had to smile at that, even though he was still upset with him. Luke seemed pleased by his “mother’s” smile, beaming right back up at him.

There was a mirror in the room now, a full length one in another corner. He looked at himself carefully, lips trembling as he fought tears. Placing the babies on the bed, he got to his feet. A good portion of what remained of his skin was bandaged and bruised, he noted with a shuddering sigh. His face looked so foreign to him, beardless and with prosthetic jaws. For a moment, he didn’t even recognize himself. Just for a split second, he was surprised that he was a naked, broken creature more machine than man and not a Jedi master in complicated robes. It all seemed so surreal. Like a most horrible dream.

Luke began to cry, sensing distress in the force. Obi Wan barely noticed. He was too busy with his own tears, wiping desperately at his leaking eyes. How strange, he thought in shame, that he and Anakin ended up here. Anakin, now Vader, was nearly unrecognizable in terms of his personality, yet Obi Wan looked completely different. He was thinner, despite eating well. Not working out constantly had softened his complexion considerably.

“You look like a whore.” Said a terrible voice in his head. “You are a whore.”

Obi Wan bit back his sobs and returned to the bed to tend to the babies. “It’s okay.” He lied, cradling them both close to his chest. “It’s okay.” Leia held Luke’s tiny hand in her own, seemingly determined not to cry. Headstrong, Obi Wan noted, just like her father.

The door slid open again. Vader came in, out of breath. “Obi Wan?” He panted.

Obi Wan was momentarily taken back. “...Anakin?”

“What’s wrong?” Vader asked, closing the door and coming to sit beside him.

“Oh, it’s... it’s nothing.”

Vader frowned and put a hand on the other man’s shaking shoulder. “Please, Obi Wan, let me take care of you.”

Sniffling, Obi Wan have in. “Anakin, am I... am I a whore?”

A mix of confusion and sadness painted Vader’s face, giving way to remorse. “Obi Wan...” he breathed, stroking him on the arm. “You are perfect.”

Obi Wan shook his head. “But am I a whore?”

“No, Obi Wan.” Vader said sternly. “You are not a whore.”

Obi Wan began to cry again. “I’m so confused.” He admitted. “I don’t know what you want from me, or what I want from you. I just... I don’t understand anything anymore.”

Vader pulled him in close for a hug, careful not to squish the babies. “You don’t need to think about anything this much.” He murmured, rubbing his exposed back. “All you have to do is take care of our children.”

“How can I do that when I don’t know who I am?” Obi Wan asked, cursing how fragile he sounded.

“You’re their mother.” Vader said simply. “That's who you are. Nothing more.” The words were supposed to be comforting, but they seemed empty and harsh.

Obi Wan opened his mouth to speak, only to have his jaw gently closed for him.

“Rest now, Obi Wan.” Vader soothed, taking the children in his arms and laying them to sleep in their crib. “When you wake up, everything will make sense again.”

Admittedly, Obi Wan was really tired. Crying had drained his energy, and being granted permission to sleep was seemingly all that he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make my day!


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